Deirdre, 42, Queensland, Australia
Hi, My name is Deidre, from Tannum Sands, Central Queensland Australia. I am a mother of 3 beautiful boys; Nathan 6, Daniel nearly 5 and Liam 2. I pretty much fell pregnant straight away to them all, but started pretty late in life. Always wanted to have kids young, but I never met my partner until 1998. We got married in 2000 and had our first son in 2002, the next one in 2003, then a year later I fell pregnant, but was diagnosed as having a hyatidiform molar pregnancy when the baby doesn’t develop and only the placenta forms. I was told not to fall pregnant for 12 months as I was tested each month via a urine sample.
Knowing my age was creeping up on me, I wanted to try for a girl. It took one night, which we panicked about because the 12 months was not yet up, but I figured wouldn’t happen yet. In 2006 I fell pregnant to my third gorgeous boy. I had no problem with that but still wanted my little girl to complete my family. My husband was so dead against having a fourth and said it would be too upsetting if I ended up with another boy.
We have been trying now for 10 months and it’s very draining waiting for that day to come each month. I feel for mums and dads trying and and those who can’t conceive naturally and have to go through much much more then I do. How painful it is. My age scares me and I haven’t told a lot of my friends or family. I just feel I would get called an idiot and I know they wouldn’t understand, but all you mums have actually inspired me not to give up. I am turning 42 on 30th July and was going to stop at 42, but I’m continuing on and hope it happens. I’m looking into herbal medicines. Where I have moved to there is nowhere to buy them. On the internet a lot of your products are from America, like Pure oasis serene Progesterone cream, xy drops and yx drops and Clomid.
I also had a Placenta Previa with my second son. Everything went well with that pregnancy but I had to take it easy and was booked in for Caesarean, The only disappointment was that I never got to see him straight away, And here I was looking at a dvd of my son being held by all my relatives and I was the last to hold him.
I would love to hear from all you over-40 groovers still trying for baby number 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 6, from all over the world, as it’s so cool to know you’re yearning for the same thing as me. And by the way if I did fall pregnant and it was a boy, so be it, I will still be the happiest mum and love it to bits. Please respond all you Queenslanders and also overseas. I would love to talk about our countries to one another and maybe one day one of us will visit one or the other, But for now I’d love some Penfriend’s from everywhere. Catch ya guys and don’t ever give up.
Code 385
Posted 18 July 2008
Karan, 43, Australia
I’m Karan, a mum-of-three grown teenagers, trying to conceive and maintain a pregnancy at 43. Our first attempt ended in missed miscarriage at 9 ½ weeks in February, 2008 and our second attempt seems to be failing at 6 weeks, despite the vitamins, minerals and flaxseed oil I’m taking. I’d love to talk thru these issues with other women in my situation.
Code 394
Posted 8 July 2008
Patricia, 48, LA, California, US
Hello, I'm the mother of a 13 year old son, 11 year old girl and an 18 month old girl. I would love to conect with moms anywhere in the world especially Los Angeles ,Ca. I did not expect to have another child - my husband and I were done. Well, God has blessed us and given us another opportunity to raise a third child. I was so nervous in the beginning of my pregnancy because it was after 9 years. Well she is here and is so perfect and delicious. God is great It was in his plan not mine. my pregnancy went very well besides the morning sickness, which I experienced with my other two. I had her with normal delivery and she was out in 48 minutes! So girls, go for it!! We can do it!!
Code 393
Posted 22 June 2008
Connie, 51, Texas, US
I would just like to connect with other moms via-e-mail and to have any what so ever 'positive' remarks, comments on havinga baby at 50.
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Posted 20 June 2008
Michelle, 39, South Africa
Hi Ladies, This is such an awesome website. I have been reading through almost everyone’s emails and they have really inspired me to carry on with my plans to have another baby. I will be 40 in July 2008. I have a wonderful 12 year old son, a beautiful, almost 3 year old daughter (in August) and 2 step-sons age 17 and 11.
My husband will be 45 this year and feels that he is too old to father anymore kids. We only have our little daughter between the two of us and she is really a blessing from God. She is the rose amongst the thorns. I have now convinced him to try again.
I was hoping to go off the pill in September and then plan from there. I think I have been reading too much up on age and all the things that can go wrong. I am leaving my decision up to God and I know he will carry me through this exciting period of my life.
Isn’t this what life is all about?? Raising God’s children
Hope that I hear from you guys in South Africa and Abroad.
Code 391
Posted 18 June 2008
Laura, 45, Germany
Hello, I appreciate a website for over 40 year olds. I have a daughter 2.5 years old via IVF. Recently visited my IVF specialist who informed us that my chances again are about 1% to conceive & hold on to the pregnancy. Basically, he informed us that there are no successful pregnancies via IVF reported in Germany. Are there any success stories out there of 45 year old plus having a successful pregnancy via IVF? If so, please let me know. Thanks very much!
Code 390
Posted 8 June 2008
Brionne, 42, Ireland (Updated 3 June 2008) (See photos of Brionne & her babies)
Brionne has just given birth to her third child, a healthy baby boy, Zachary, at home, weighing 3.6 kg, length 49 cm.
Orignal updated message:
Just reached the third trimester with another baby - he's due towards the end of June. I turned 42 at the end of last year. Everything's been going really well so far with the pregnancy and we're going for another home birth with the same midwife as last time. Meanwhile, Mayanne turned one year old less than a month ago - she's full of smiles and personality and has become a high speed crawler....she has taken a few first steps when we offer our arms for her to hold, and loves eating and going out.
Caelan (he's 5) and Mayanne have invented several games they like to play - Roll the Biscuit Tin (to each other), You Build the Towers and I'll Knock Them Down, I'll Drop This and You'll Bring It Back, and the Get Game - Mayanne says "Get" - gives a toy to Caelan, stretches out her hand and says "Get" again to have it given back over and over. She still hasn't much hair, and only one tooth!
The new baby is a boy we're going to call Zachary, and he looks like being another livewire....he was flipping somersaults during his only ultrasound so far.
Original message:
I'm Brionne, 41, I have a 4 year old son and a new baby girl.
Baby Mayanne was born at home on 27 Feb 07, two weeks early. She weighs in at just over eight pounds (just 200g more than my son weighed four years ago) and is absolutely lovely and perfect, sleeping and drinking her milk, and even smiling from day one! I was very lucky to get the home birth I wanted. My midwife went to a wedding in America and we were only just able to raise the half arranged back-up midwife in time - she made it for the last hour or so. She was very calm and reassuring, and truly excellent. This time it didn't all just happen by itself with me as a sort of bystander as it had the first time. I think it must be something to do with the waters breaking at 1 am instead of 5 pm! Anyway I had to put in a bit of work this time, and it took 9 hours from the waters breaking instead of 6, Mayanne made things that bit more difficult by sticking her hand on her head and making the job that bit bigger! The placenta took over an hour to appear again, which gave Daddy plenty of holdy time with baby, which he rather enjoyed.
But there you go, you can get pregnant at 40 in the old-fashioned way and give birth at home without drugs or intervention.
Happily the new baby is more adept at breastfeeding than Caelan was. He tried to hand her all his toys and books on the first day and is only just beginning to calm down.
Hope this inspires others who are just thinking about trying for a baby at this age to have some confidence. If you're lucky, and I'm sure lots of us must be, you won't need to put yourself through the stress of fertility treatments etc - it can just happen, especially if you and your man have been looking after yourselves, or if he's a fair bit younger.
The very best of luck to everyone on this site, however you're hoping it'll happen.
I'd love to chat/meet other Mums, esp stay-at-home Mums.
Anyone who has another 4-year-old to come play with my little boy would be lovely - would have to be non-smoker for meet-ups.
We have a healthy lifestyle - maybe affected fertility as had first child within one month and second within 4 months - don't know if changing lifestyle late in the day works as this has been lifelong. Info for anyone who's interested.
I love nature, feeding wild birds in winter, growing food, foraging and being with my lovely little boy.
Have been attachment parenting without knowing that's what it's called (!) - breastfeeding and keeping baby in bed/sling etc.
Penpals from anywhere. Meetups easiest for Mums in Galway area, Ireland.
Code 322
Updated 3 June 2008
Susan, 45, UK
I'm 45 and married to a wonderful man who has not had any children. We have not been trying to conceive for very long, only about 4 months, but I could really do with some support from other ladies in the same position. Neither of us have had any tests but I have been charting/temping now for about 8 months and know I have been ovulating regularly. I have got the all clear from my doc, health wise, and she confirmed I am ovulating based on my charts. I already have older children from a previous marriage but would so like to be able to make our family complete.
I would love to hear from someone who would like to exchange hopes, tears, support and excitement during our journeys.
Code 389
Posted 3 June 2008
Cindy, 49, Illinois, US
I was originally born in England and came to the USA when I was 20 years old in 1979. I married and had my first child - a daughter, at the age of 23 years old in 1982. I was young, with no family around and knew nothing about breast feeding or birthing options. I had my daughter in a hospital with an IV Pitocin, fetal monitor and a episiotomy - the works.
Eight years later I had a son in a hospital it was an awful experience; the doctor broke my water in his office the morning before as he was in a rush to go to a 4th July party, the day on which my son was supposed to be born, so he wanted my son to "hurry up and get born" - his exact words. The birth was almost a C-Section. I actually delivered vaginally the operating room with the anaesthetist standing over me waiting to put me out. My eyes locked into a nurse's eyes; she knew all I wanted to do was push yet I was being told to relax not to push as the C-Section would soon be all over. I pushed like no tomorrow with my knees up by my ears and out emerged my beautiful first born son on July 3rd 1990. The feeling of being so out of control and the fact my husband had signed against all my wishes for the C-Section put a lot of pressure on our marriage. I never felt truly heard and never felt the birth was my way.
I conceived again three years later and this time read up on all my options and decided for a home birth. My husband was so against this and fought me all the way, not wanting to be educated in this matter and not wanting to listen to me. I delivered a healthy wonderful son, my second son, at home without any medications in 1993 with the doctor, my children ages 11 and 3 and a friend present. It was my best ever birth experience. Problem was my husband was not there for the birth and never forgave me for going against his wishes.
I conceived again two years later and this time my husband decided to leave us. So I decided to return to England and be with my blood relatives and deliver my baby in my homeland. It was a wonderful experience and amazing that we could have just the midwife there and to listen to all the controversy about home birth versus hospital births from another country’s point of view. Home birth works for me and I like to be in complete control of my situation. I delivered my third son in England healthy and my first British Citizen in 1995.
After living in England for two years, my yearning for America became very strong, so I returned to America, a single mother with four children. I remained single for six years building my life up after tending to the divorce and remains of my estate.
In 2000 I re-married a wonderful man. He had two older children from his previous marriage. We decided we would like a biological child together. As we were considered to be an "older” couple, many people frowned on this and told us of all the horror stories or the fact we would for sure have a child with many medical problems. We were fortunate enough to have very supportive doctors and we were told to make love every two days after the 5th days of my cycle for 16 days. We did this for two years - my husband always had a smile on his face!!! We did conceive naturally and I had my first water birth at home at the age of 44 years old and my husband 50 years old. We had a healthy baby boy, my fourth son, born 2003.
Now it is 2008. I am blessed with five children, now aged 26 years (my daughter) and four sons aged 18 years, 15 years, 13 years and 5 years. My husband’s two older children from his previous marriage are a daughter aged 29 years and a son aged 27 years. I am 49 years old and my husband is 55.
I am yearning to be pregnant again. I feel so excited to have found this website and went to the health store and bought CHASTE TREE VITEX ANGUS CASTUS for myself and SAW PALMETTO for my husband. We are back to making love every other day and I wait anxiously when I am due for my period and pray I do not see it. I have been checked out by the doctor and he says I am healthy, ovulating and my FSH levels are wonderful.
I feel a yearning to have a baby at my breast and to conceive again. This is what makes us all so unique as women. We have a special gift that we know when we are done deep in our heart. We should not as women look to a mother with one child and say, "Where are the rest, why are you not having more"? This mother has come to terms with her yearning and one child may make her complete. On the other hand, a mother who keeps trying after many miscarriages or after all the odds are against her should always remember and listen to her yearning deep inside and not lose hope or listen to outside negative people. If her yearning is to be fulfilled then it can be if she focuses, prays and works with this in mind. One way or another. Be it with adoption, IVF, naturally or other methods, if she is being called to still be a mother in the depths of her soul it can be possible.
I have many against the fact I am turning 50 in February and still yearn for another child. I keep my positive circle of friends who uplift me and encourage me and do not discuss anything with negative folk. After all it is our lives and we know that we are not going to be old and crabby and unable to do whatever everyone says you won’t be able to do because of your age with your children. Age is truly a state of mind.
So anyone out there longing for your yearning do not lose faith. Keep surrounding yourself with websites such as these. Sit down with a good cup of tea and your day will be here before you know it. Stay true to your inner calling. Thank you for letting me share my story.
Code 388
Posted 21 May 2008
Holly, 43, Boston, MA, US
I'm 43 and live in Boston, MA, USA, and have been trying to conceive naturally for over 18 months now. Since I waited until my 42nd birthday to start trying to have a baby, I don't really feel as I deserve to waste medical resources on getting pregnant. But I would really love to correspond with other women who won't laugh at me for trying! I'm starting to suspect nothing is going to happen, but I'm just not quite ready to quit yet, either. If I can offer support to someone else and receive some in return, that would be great.
Code 387
Posted 13 May 2008
Geniece, 39, South Carolina, US
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 6 years and nothing happens. I have any several tests and the doctor told me that everything is fine. I have tried clomid and herbs and they have not worked. I will be turning 40 in August and I would love to have my first child with my husband. My husband has not undergone any tests and he is not taking any kind of vitamins. I told him that he needs to cut back on his smoking and drinking. I don't drink or smoke and I don't drink a lot of caffeine. I had my physical recently and my OB/GYN told me that I am very healthy for my age and I told my husband that he have to be healthy too. Please give me some advice.
Code 386
Posted 9 May 2008
Jenny, 42, Manchester, UK
I am 42 and live in Manchester UK with my 31-year-old husband 31 and our 12 year old tom cat, Max.
Is this too old to have a baby? The professionals seem to think so. I'm ovulating, have very regular periods and my hormone levels are good for my age. My husband's sperm count is low though due to chemotherapy. We do have stored sperm but the cost to go through IVF is something we are looking into at the moment. Any advice would be appreciated. I would love to hear from other couples in a similar situation.
Code 385
Posted 6 May 2008
Giovanna, 45, Firenze, Italy
I had 5 pregnancy and five babies; my little Laura, the first one died of cot death at the age of 6 weeks ....I still miss her very much. After her, I had 3 boys and one girl, now aged 5. Last month I realised I was pregnant again and although a bit confused, I was very, very happy. My husband did not want another child, though he accepted to keep the pregnancy. Last week I felt awful, went to the hospital and after days of agony the verdict was miscarriage. I was and still am devastated. Now my husband does not want to try for another baby, but I cannot help dreaming of having an other little one. Please help me - is there any father who would feel like talking my husband out of his stubborn position? Giò
Code 384
Posted 28 April 2008
Danielle, 44, Australia
I have just turned 44 and have a beautiful 8 year old son. When my son was 2 we almost lost him to a terrible disease and in the hospital my husband and I vowed to one another that we would never have another child. But as they say "time heals all wounds" - my son is now healthy and we have been trying to have another child for the past 3 years. I have fallen pregnant 3 times but all sadly resulted in miscarriages.
I would just love to have someone else to correspond with of similar age that is also trying to have a child or has recently fallen pregnant or someone that has had a child around 44 - I am desperately
searching for some glimmer of hope........
Also if anyone my age has tried IVF would love to hear from you - I have been to an IVF doctor but he said I only have a 2% success rate (better than no chance though) and he said since I am falling pregnant naturally than let nature take its course.
I look forward to hearing from you soon and thank you Jan for this wonderful website!!
Code 383
Posted 25 April 2008
Ria, 45, UK
I am 45, recently married for first time to a much younger loving man. We are now trying to conceive. Had blood tests and semen test ok and waiting to be called by a Hospital Specialised in Fertility in Oxford.
I would like to get in touch with moms/moms to be of my age with succesful stories to tell, like Clare's in Utah, USA, epecially with UK residents as they could give me tips and tell me about their experiencies in different specialised clinics/hospital here.
I would also like to exchange views with moms with good stories to tell having had IVF treatment abroad, as we are considering if the case requires, having this done in one of the eastern countries like Poland, or maybe Turkey (due to the high cost in UK).
Code 382
Posted 15 April 2008
Karen, 49, Southern California, US
I have a had a long road to unsuccessful attempts at getting (and staying) pregnant. I have had every test known to woman. The work-up I received by the in-vitro clinic, told me everything looked normal and that I should have no problems conceiving and holding a pregnancy. My tubes are clear, uterine cavity was clear of fibroids (small) and my lining was responding well to the fertility medicine. My story: I got pregnant late in life (1998), at the age of 40, during my first marriage. It ended 6-8 weeks later in a blighted ovum, for which I received a D&C. After this procedure, however, I did not have a period for approximately 7 months! I started acupuncture to assist with this dilemma, which fortunately restarted my period. I never got pregnant again, even though I never took birth control pills or other forms of contraception. This marriage ended in divorce in 2002.
Now, I am remarried to a wonderful man, who is 43. Although he had a child out of wedlock, at the age of 19, he was not a part of her life. We want nothing more than to have a child. I have tried in-vitro 3 times. My first attempt, during my first marriage, resulted in the harvesting of one egg, which was no good. My last 2 in vitro attempts in 2006 resulted in no pregnancies with a 23 year-old friend's eggs! Well, I actually did get pregnant (a little bit). The HCG test did not produce high enough numbers, but the clinic told me to hang in there until Monday (3 days later), to see if the numbers would increase. Unfortunately, they did not, so I stopped taking all fertility drugs and, due to not wanting to risk another failed attempt, with seemingly perfect eggs, we decided to stop all treatment. Needless to say, I was fit to be tied! I struggled with questions like: "Does God like me? Is God mad at me? Did I confess all of my previous sins? Did I hurt somebody in my life that I am now paying the consequences for?" I think you get my drift of how frustrating unexplainable infertility can be.
In September 2007, I decided to try conceiving naturally, again, w/ the assistance of TCM (Chinese Traditional Medicine). TCM practitioners also feel as long as a woman is still menstruating, she can get pg. I take my temperature daily, check my cervical mucus and am attempting to chart my way to a natural pregnancy. My monthly cycles definitely improved, but still no pregnancy. I don't smoke, I frequently drink a glass or two of wine, weekly, I eat healthy, take supplements and exercise. I have had some close calls - delayed periods and pregnancy-like symptoms, but testing has not resulted in a pregnancy. . . .yet. I stopped taking the TCM in February because I experienced symptoms similar to a stroke. Tests have shown I did not have a stoke. However, my TCM practitioner suggests I get a clean bill of health before I resume the meds.
After reading the wonderful stories of late-life pregnancies on this web site, I am so very hopeful and grateful to God for steering me to this way. I have a renewed sense of hope that it is not over for me yet. I envision myself pregnant with a little one running thru my home. I pray/meditate 5 times per day, a special combination of prayers that will increase my positive energy and bring the miracle of conception/birth to my body. I try not to focus on negative thoughts too long, because I believe God wants me to be a mother, as he has not yet closed this door.
I would like to correspond with a penpal or two, as we take this journey together. If I can pray for, or be an encouragement to, someone who is struggling to conceive like I am, maybe our dreams will finally come true together. Remember Matthew 21:28: "Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you shall receive."
Code 381
Posted 14 April 2008
Sarah, 44, York, UK (Updated 14 April 2008)
It’s now a year since I have been with my partner and I started to try for a baby from last June when my Mirena coil was removed, took a while for my body to get back to normal and for periods to return monthly, but they finally did. At Christmas a friend lent me a book on fertility, sort of a 'know your own body bible' really and this book was an eye opener and I found out lots of information that I did not know before, such as your time limit for conception is only 2-3 days a month (I did wonder how I actually managed to have my other children)! But it started me on the journey of Natural Family Planning, taking my temperature each day, charting and watching for other signs of ovulation, I started charting on the first day of my period in February 2008 and to my utter surprise and shock by the end of the month I was pregnant!! www.fertilityuk.org/ is the website for the UK and very helpful too.
I am now 9 weeks pregnant, and having my dating scan on Monday, I know we still have a long way to go, but I am feeling dreadful which of course is a great sign with sore boobs and sickness!!! Why do we forget this happens!! If all goes well we intend to enjoy every minute of this baby and I consider myself so lucky.
As for my girls, the initial shock was a bit hard for them, but within days it was 'who would be naming the baby, who would be dressing the baby' etc so all 3 of my girls and one very bemused partner are there for me.
Again thanks for your support when I needed it and the website is so valuable too for all us over 40's who are more than capable of being perfect, loving, caring mothers.
Original message:
I am needing a little help and support from anyone in the same boat please. I am a 44 year old lady who after 18 years of marriage and three beautiful girls now aged 18 and twins of 16, found myself divorced as my ex preferred a younger model. This was 3 1/2 years ago. I now consider myself very lucky to have found my soulmate, the man of my dreams, the man I want to be with and to hopefully have a baby with to complete our love for each other. The problem? My children! It's only been 4 months since I met this man, who feels the same about me, as has also had his life turned upside down by the impact of meeting and falling in love with someone with 'children' (his previous partner could not have them).
My girls are just being so horrible; they like this man but can not understand why I would want a child at the ripe 'old' age of 44. They have been very protected by me since my split and I expect I have brought this on myself by mollycoddling them for too long, but their negativity is really getting me and my new partner down now and I just do not know how to deal with this. My oldest daughter says she will leave home if I have a baby. At present I have all my girls shared care with my ex and my daughter does have a boyfriend who she spends a lot of time with. One of the twins is being really good about it and just wants me to be safe and happy and the other twin is such a mummy's girl; she thinks I will not have time to spend with her and would only have time for the baby.
I would like to hear from anyone who can offer any advice or somewhere I could find help for dealing with this.
Code 342
Posted 9 August 2007 (Updated 14 April 2008)
Carrie, 49, Central Coast area, California, US
Dearest 'sisters,' I don’t even know where to start without boring you all to tears with a long story. I’ll do my best to make it brief and not sound like I’m out of my ever-lovin gourd! Please bear with me.
I am 49 (YIKES!), I have two beautiful teenagers that are the lights of my life. I remarried my soulmate one year ago and our love for each other has driven us to decide to try conceive. I have not told ANYONE about this as we would be poo-poo’d right out of town.
Here’s my situation: I had my tubes tied after I divorced my kids’ dad over 10 years ago and then seemingly zoomed thru early menopause immediately thereafter, at 38-39. I had mild menopause symptoms, but my periods abruptly stopped at 40. I chalked it up to menopause. I’m now realizing that this whole thing could have very well been POF (Premature Ovarian Failure) brought on by PTLS (Post Tubal Ligation Symdrome). You may have to look that up, I don’t want to explain it here. After doing a ton of research on the internet, I’m fairly certain this is what happened to me.
One month ago, I was surprised to have ovulation pains one day out of the blue! (I always had those when I had regular cycles and I knew exactly when I was ovulating). Well, I sort of laughed it off as it was “impossible”. But wait!! A few days later, the tell-tale cervical mucous appeared, which I hadn’t seen in over 8 years!! What the heck was happening!?? My hubby and I make love on a pretty regular basis and did so a couple times during this CM time. A couple weeks later, I had EVERY symptom of pregnancy!! I know, this sounds absolutely ludicrous, but believe me, I am extremely intuitive and very in-tune with my body. I know what I was feeling was early pregnancy stuff. Unfortunately a few days later, I started bleeding. It was moderate, but after not having a period for over 8 years, I was sure I was having an early miscarriage or I was having a real period after all this time (doubtful). Since then, all the prego symptoms have gone. In my younger years, I never had any major symptoms along with my periods, in fact they were usually very mild periods, no cramps or sore boobs, or PMS.
So, as you can imagine, I thought I was going out of my mind with this, but I believe God planted a seed to let me know there was a possibility I could be fertile after all this time.
I went to the doc, had an ultrasound, everything looked normal and was told I had a couple follicles on the ovaries but the tech couldn’t see my tubes to tell me if they had miraculously grown back or not. Had a blood test and it showed me as “perimenopausal” after I had been dubbed POSTmenopausal a few years ago.
Even if I wasn’t experiencing a pregnancy, how is that menopause can all-of-a-sudden reverse itself and make me have a period? Anyway, the doc wants to do an endometrial biopsy to make sure it’s not uterine cancer. I know uterine cancer doesn’t display pregnancy symptoms, but figure I should go anyway to rule it out.
Code 380
Posted 11 April 2008
Faith, 46, Madison, Wisconsin, US
I have been encouraged by your website and wanted to encourage other mothers trying to have, or having new babies after 45. I am 46 and single by choice, having my first (and only) child in two months. I conceived by IUI at the first try, using the services of a sperm bank. All the tests
indicate that my son is developing typically and seems to be very healthy and active. All the fears my doctors expressed regarding my own health also have not been realized, so I expect to carry to term.
I would like to meet other new mothers over 45, especially single mothers by choice.
Code 379
Posted 10 April 2008
Niece, 44, Tuscon, Arizona, US
Hi, I'm just turned 44 in March. I have 6 kids from a previous marriage and have been with my current man for 4 years. My/our kids are 18, 16, 13, 12, 10 and 6. He hasn't been married and hasn't had any children. We have talked about getting married and having kids. I don't know if it'll still work for me. It should, I got pregnant really easy with the others, just had to think about it. I would love to talk to others in the same situation or similar. I love my Michael to death and would love nothing more than to give him a child. We live in the desert, love the outdoors, travel, hiking, animals, back packing and camping. Currently learning to set up websites and earn money online so that I can be a stay at home mom.
Code 378
Posted 5 April 2008
Marjorie, 42, Newton Abbot, Devon, UK
I live in Newton Abbot, Devon and have been trying for a baby since June 2007. I am 42 years old unfortunately getting older on 11 December 2008. My husband is 35 years old. I got married late at the age of 41. I am not holding my breath in conceiving due to my age and time is against me. I have always been maternal but had to make do with admiring "other peoples" babies rather than my own, I feel something is missing in my life. I cannot believe I am 42 and do not feel anything like it; I still like doing childish things and feel I could relate to a child. I am taking a chance to see what fate decides for me and have decided against Clomid and IVF. I have had blood tests which have come out as normal. This would be my first child and quite daunting. It would be nice to hear from people in a similar situation to myself.
Code 377
Posted 25 March 2008
Ellen, 49, London, UK
Hi, I’m 49 years old and married again 2 years ago. I've been trying to get pregnant but it’s been difficult because my husband travels a lot and I was not sure if I was ovulating. However, I decided to go down the natural route and went to a herbalist weekly with acupuncture. After 6 weeks or so I didn’t get my period, so my herbalist asked me to have my FSH and LH tested. She expected them to be very high and basically to accept that I’m probably not ovulating. I know that these tests are supposed to be done on the third day of your cycle, but I could have been waiting a long time. To my surprise and the herbalist’s, my FSH WAS 5.6 and LH 6. My herbalist was encouraged by this and asked me to have an ultrasound and the radiologist detected a follicle cyst of 23 mm, so to cut a long story short my ovaries are a normal size, I’ve got good endometrium thickness for pregnancy, my follicles grow to a big size, but my problem is that my follicles don’t rupture. I have luteinizing unruptured follicles (luf), so now I don’t know what to do. I’m so close and yet so far, I can have this treated, but I’m not sure I want to go down that route. I have no support from family, friends or the medical profession and am discouraged. I’m a believer in God and a devout Muslim, so I pray a lot and believe in the power of prayer.
I ask myself at this stage why I would like a baby as I’m now wondering whether to accept God’s will if there is not going to be one. I already have two daughters from a previous marriage so I am a mother. This may sound strange to some of you, but in 1989 I had an intuition or vision that a child was waiting to be born. I forgot about this feeling for 16 years and it came up again recently; at the time it was not what I wanted, so it wasn’t wishful thinking, but it’s as if there is a child waiting to be born and I’m not complete until it happens. In fact I’m not even feeling a strong maternal drive like I had when I was younger, but that my destiny is not complete yet without this child and this child will teach me a lot.
I don’t know if any other woman on this site has had such visions or dreams of their future children. I’d like to correspond with other women who want a child. I'm welsh and live in London; I think it’s a beautiful city. God Bless to you all.
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Posted 16 March 2008
Sharon, 44, Queensland, Australia
I have a 9 month old daughter born May 07. She was the final attempt to conceive after many years of infertility treatment. I am finding it difficult to connect with other mums in my area who are in my age group (44). The younger mums are lovely but don't seem realy understand what its like to be a 'mature' first time mum who has had to change many old habits. I live in Toowoomba Queensland. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to meet others around my age?
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Posted 3 March 2008
Debbie, 48, Florida, US
I live with my husband of 19 years in Ft. Walton Beach, Florida. We have been TTC for over four years when I was 43. I went through some tests; the last time I was tested was in 2005 when my levels were 10.2. My cycles are not regular, however, I have not given up on TTC since I was told I was not pre-menopausal. I have tried clomid but failed and decided to go naturally.
I want to hear from women that are Christians, trusting in the Lord for the promise He’s given you, and also from women that wants to TTC naturally and from women who has accomplished it through their faith. The older you are, the more inspired I am. It really doesn’t matter what part of the world you are from.
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Posted 1 March 2008
Yvonne, 41, US
Hello-I have just turned 41 and my husband and I want to become pregnant. My doctor has told me I am experiencing early menopause. I had been anaemic for a couple years, but after iron treatments my iron level is good now. Although I have had the IUD for 5 years, my last period was approximately a year ago. I am devastated to think I will not be able to have a baby. If anyone has been in this situation could you please tell me what you did to become pregnant.
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Posted 26 February 2008
Bernice, 45, Montana, US
So wonderful to find your website!! I am 45 years old and have 4 children - a 16 year old, 14 year old, 11 year old and a 17 month old. I found out I was pregnant at 43. It was a complete surprise
but what a blessing. Now we are thinking of trying to get pregnant again so our young son will have a sibling to grow up with plus I love raising my children. Your site with its testimonials was
inspirational.
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Posted 26 February 2008
Renée, 45, Florida, US
Hi, I'm Renée, 45, carrying my third. My other children are 15 and 12. It's wonderful to find such a site when the majority of sites are very negative and don't offer much good news, or hope, for mothers-to-be in their 40's.
I would love to hear from moms about their experiences with their prenatal testing. In addition, the overall differences between this later pregnancy and their earlier ones.
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Posted 19 February 2007
Diane, 41, Essex, UK
Hi, My name is Diane,I'm 41 & I live in Essex,South East England and to my great joy I am now (as of today!) 12 weeks pregnant. This is my 3rd pregnancy in a year I had 2 m/cs - 1 at 11.5 weeks and the next at 8 weeks. I've had a couple of scans, one to reassure me and one because I had a bleed. All is well.
I left a very abusive & violent relationship in oct 05 to be with my partner who is the polar opposit of my ex - kind, loyal, and my perfect match.
I have a very soon-to-be 7 yr old son, my partner has a daughter 2 months younger. I feel extremely fortunate to have concieved three times at my age and even more so as this one seems to be sticking around.
I would love to chat / meet other mums / mums to be of the same age & thinking.
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Posted 15 February 2008
Christine, 45
Hi I am 45 years old, with a 5 year old wonderful little boy. I am just not at peace with not having another child no matter how much I try to convince myself it will be OK. I have gone back and forth for the last several years trig to decide what to do. My pregnancy at 39 was a bit difficult. I was on bedrest for the last four months, but had a very healthy baby only one week early. The pre term labor was due to either the Amnio I had a few days earlier, the sudden death of my Mother a few weeks prior, fibroid tumors or all of the above. I also had a miscarriage at aprox 7 weeks 21/2 years ago.
I know if I was guaranteed a healthy baby, my husband and I would jump at the opportunity to conceive again. I don't however, want to jeopardize our situation or my son's life by risking having a child with complications. Furthermore, whenever I mention my desire to have another child to most anyone I get a lot of negative responses ie..perhaps I am too "old" to do this again etc. If there is anyone out there that can relate to my situation or give their input I would greatly appreciate it.
Best wishes to you all.
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Posted 6 February 2008
Shelley, 40, Canada
Hello I'm interested in hearing from some moms that have started over. I have a 14yr old girl and a 12yr old boy. I have met the man that I thought I would never be so fortunate to find and fell in love. We want to start a family but I am very nervous.
I am 40yrs old now and my Dr. told me that I had a 1-40 chance of something going wrong with the pregnancy. He said that was the stats of a woman my age. I think I am a healthy woman, fit and not ill with any disorders. This made me really scared now. On top of it all I am not sure how my kids will react to a new baby.
I would love to hear from some ladies that have been through a divorce and started over hopefully around my age or a bit older. Who knows if I can conceive also or how long it may take. Any info/support would be greatly appreciated.
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Posted 6 February 2008
June, 49, UK
Hi, My name is June I live in the Northwest of England. I live with my partner aged 47 and I am 50 this year.
We have a perfect son aged 22-months-old. He was concieved naturally (after 5 m/c over 2 years) when I was 47 and I had him 5 weeks early weighing 6lb 14 oz. If I can help you ttc eg advice, experiences etc., please feel free to get in touch!
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Posted 4 February 2008
Melody, 43, Pennsylvania, US
I love your site, it is so much more positive than the other sites that I have visited. I just wanted to know if there are any mothers out there who have had a tubal reversal over the age of 40 and had a healthy pregnancy. I am in the process of meeting with my doctor to discuss a reversal for me but I just wanted to know or communicate with someone who has gone through this process.
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Posted 13 January 2008
Jackie, 45, Birmingham, UK
Hi. My name is Jackie, I live near Birmingham, UK, and I'm 45 years old. I'm very proud and happy Mum to a beautiful perfectly fine and healthy 4 month old boy. I honestly thought I would never have a baby after trying for years and nothing happening and then a couple of miscarriages. But then just at the point that I felt enough was enough I was pregnant and it all seemed to be ok on the scan. I was very worried at times during my pregnancy but I did the blood test for Downs and my risk came back as 1/170 which was good for my age. One thing that helped was realising that this translates as a 90 something per cent change of the baby being fine. I felt it was a risk we could go with and I stopped worrying so much. Everything went smoothly and having been told that I should prepare for a caesarean section because of my age and blood pressure, I was induced at 11 days overdue and had a difficult but normal labour with not much pain relief and no stitches. I'd say don't give up....but sort of
do give up. I think I was so bruised and battered by the endless waiting and grieving that I did give up
and got on with my life... and then it happened. Maybe take a very demanding job that would be difficult to manage with a baby or get a very all consuming dog or something. Just take heart! This time last year I would never have believed I'd be a mother soon.
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Posted 8 January 2008
Denice, 49, Detroit, MI, US
I am a 49 year old with 2 grown children from a previous marriage – ages 28 and 26. Their father left me after 20 years of marriage. I met the most wonderful man 6 years younger than I who had never had any children. We discussed the possibilities of having children, and after 6 years together, we investigated our options at a Detroit IVF clinic. After extensive testing, it was determined that I would be able to carry a child, but that donor eggs would be necessary to insure success. We made the difficult decision to proceed. Emotionally and physically it was very trying. Medication and injections required to stabilize hormonal levels. After what seemed like an eternity (probably more like 8 months of treatment) we were ready for egg implantation.
Now it was my husband's turn to be a successful donor for sperm. Not a very glamorous procedure, but it was done. We learned that our egg donor had provided us with 8 eggs. They were fertilized with my husband's sperm and incubated. Within 24 hours we found that only 4 of the eggs survived the fertilization process. Our fears mounted. Only 2 ½ days before we would learn what would be available for our future. Due to potential complications, the clinic requests that you sign a waiver that in the event several fertilized eggs are implanted and they develop, that you will agree to reduction so that no more than 2 or 3 are allowed to grow. Another quite upsetting event, as it is difficult to make this agreement knowing full well that you are trying desperately to become pregnant. 3 days later, my husband and I arrived at the clinic for the insertion of eggs. We found that only 2 survived to this point. Both were inserted into my uterus with supportive comments that these 2 eggs had developed very nicely and appeared very normal. Now the real traumatic feelings began. I laid almost totally still for the first 24 hours trying as hard as possible to give these eggs little motion for them to settle into the uterine lining.
Two weeks later, we went back to the clinic to find that we had success! One of the eggs in fact had implanted and what the doctors considered a heartbeat was visible via ultrasound. The second egg was not so lucky. It could be seen in the uterus but did not survive the transplant. Ultimately though, I was pregnant and had just turned 48. Every week brought further hope that this single egg would continue to survive and grow. Weeks became months and further ultrasounds showed that the egg had developed into a very healthy normal viable fetus. The pregnancy was fairly uneventful. At around 5 months, I was found to have gestational diabetes. With close monitoring of my diet, and regular blood testing, I was able to keep the diabetes in check. Almost 4 weeks early, my water broke and was hospitalized. Labor was induced and 5 hours later, the most wonderful baby boy was born. Small (only 5 lbs 4 oz) but healthy, he was perfect. With 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes, and no medical issues! My husband finally had his first child.
The road was a long one to get to this child, with many comments by others along the way – many of them not supportive. Now I hold in my arms every day a true miracle. The comments continue by those that don’t understand our desire and need for this child. I have stopped explaining for myself, and just noting to all about how beautiful this child is and how lucky I am. We have truly been blessed. Would I change anything? Only that I would have tried this earlier in our relationship so that I could have had a second.
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Posted 6 January 2008
Julia, 43, Mays Landing, NJ, US
I am 43 and trying to conceive. I have a 7 year old son and have been trying to conceive for about 2 years now. I would like to connect with others in my situation. It is very stressful. I am considering using an egg donor and was hoping to speak to someone about that. I would appreciate your help in connecting with others.
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Posted 2 January 2008
Sharon, 44, Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia
After many years of trying for our own child we now have a lovely daughter aged 7 months. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and delivered via c/section 18 days early. I am currently a work at home mum. I used to enjoy watercolour painting but have not had the luxury lately of free time available to paint. Would enjoy catching up with other mums.
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Posted 5 December 2007
Jane, 43, Perth, Australia
I am a mother of two, aged 20 and 14 to a previous relationship. My partner and I have been trying to concieve for 12mths. I am beginning to think at 43 I must be getting too old. Not having had any problems before, I was shocked to find that it did not happen in the first few months. I know I am ovulating and would like the support of anyone my age in the same position or who can give me encouragement. My partner and I would dearly love a child of our own.
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Posted 23 November 2007
Cass, 45, UK
I've glanced through your message page, I so wish I could have found it years ago.The only down side is there is so few forty plus mums on their first baby. I would love to share this ordeal with someone. The feed back from the contacts we`ve had is on the negative side, so some positive thoughts would be so good. At 45 the NHS does not consider my health important. It would be nice to converse with anyone who is going through or has been through these awful feelings. Any advice on the way forward would be good to. I have had scan, which was not as awful as I had expected. I am now on the only treatment on offer.Not yet working, but how long before one must give-up? Am getting distressed.Our medicine is not so brilliant, (abroad they can help over 50s carry a child).Feel so empty!! I hope for a reply.
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Posted 14 November 2007
Mary-Louise, 39, Denver, Colorado, US
Hello, I am experiencing secondary unexplained infertility. I am almost 39, had 1 child at 37 naturally conceived - you know - doing all the wrong things. Now I have done IUI and clomid drug, did not work. I am doing Acupuncture and TCM with herbs now.I am so desperate and do not know which way to turn. I am from the UK but live in the US now. I am looking to join a penpal club, gain advice. I really was impressed by your website.
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Posted 14 November 2007
Chantel, 41, South Africa
I have two beautiful children, Lawrence aged 16 and Gabriella aged 4. We are desperately trying to conceive a third child but have had such negative comments from Doctors and friends. I had an eptopic pregnancy in April and with the result I have just recently had to have one of my tubes tied as it was so damaged. This has left me very down and helpless in my journey to have another baby and at times I keep wondering if I am wasting my time and if my dream is just a pipe dream?? Your web page is such an inspiration to Moms over 40 and it is so encouraging to see that it is possible to have a healthy baby in your 40's. I look forward to hearing from any moms in the same situation as me. It would be so nice to know that there are moms out there just like me who have overcome these hurdles and gone ahead and had healthy babies against all the medical statistics everyone likes to quote on a regular basis!
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Posted 12 November 2007
Darlyn, 40
I decided today to scour the web for sites with Women who have had or are planning to have babies after the age of 40. Unfortunately I married late and have never being pregnant before but we are having the darnest time getting pregnant, even though there is nothing wrong with us... Having no one to really discuss this situation with, since all the women around my age I know are either still single or have grown up children, so I decided to check the web.
I would love to have a couple of penpals. We do plan to have children - if ultimately we don't via IVF, then we will adopt... I am 40 (in May) and my husband is 41.
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Posted 9 November 2007
Rhonda, 45 and Scott, Michigan, US
My wife and I found out yesterday on our 20th anniversary that she is 6 weeks' pregnant. We have a 16 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. We had not used protection in 14 years and now she's pregnant. We are so very concerned about the idea of middle age child rearing, but mostly concerned about her health and the potential of having a baby with problems due to my wife's age. She is afraid that her eggs are old and the baby will have genetic problems. I admit I am scared also. We are going to have genetic counseling on Monday to go over the possibilities. We are considering an abortion, although even writing the word makes me cringe. We are both reform Jews and do not have a
religious issue regarding abortion. I just never thought we would be in this position. If she got pregnant even 5-10 years ago, we would have never even thought twice about having baby. However, now we are. Any help and advice with the issues we are having would be greatly appreciated.
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Posted 5 November 2007
Dawn, 42, Ohio, US
Hello, my name is Dawn and I'm a 42 year old mother of 3 (I claim my 22 yr old stepdaughter as my own). My son is now 15 and was called the miracle baby because of my cervical tilt. Long story short, my youngest was a surprise at age 38, after 10 years of trying. She was absolutely perfect and is such a joy. Unhappily, when she was 15 months old, my husband died suddenly at age 42. I have been with a wonderful man for nearly 2 years, who just happens to be 14 years younger. He was perfectly content to call my children his own; however, for months I've had this burning need to have another baby. I have so many things working against me, but just have to try. I had my Merina IUD removed in Sept. and have been taking prenatal vitamins for 3 months, exercising and trying to get my weight down a bit. He has been taking vitamins for 3 months also. We are ready to try and, I think, my biggest dread is that I won't conceive. We have committed to trying for a year. I couldn't figure out how to contact the people through this forum, so I hope you can shine a little light for me. It would be a great help to communicate with those in similar situations.
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Posted 5 November 2007
Diane, 42, Chicago, Illinois, US (Updated 29 October 2007)
On October 9th, 2007 my husband & I celebrated the birth of our beautiful baby daughter Alyssa. She weighed in at 8 lbs 6 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. She is an absolute angel, perfect in every way. The fears I had expressed in my original posting went away when I heard her first cry.
This website is a true inspiration and I want to let other moms know things will be ok, and don't let your fears discourage you from your dreams of having a child in your 40's.
Original message:
I am a 42 yr. old mom to be newly married to a wonderful man 13 yrs. younger then myself. This is my second marriage and I have two grown up children aged 21 & 18. My husband and I had talked about having a child and I have to admit the thought seemed quite crazy to me at the time. After all, last time I was pregnant was 18 yrs. ago!! Now it was "my time"! Or was it??
I have just discovered I am pregnant!! Yes, at 42 and the first attempt I realized I am still fertile!! I am also extremely scared due to all the horror stories I have heard.
I would love to connect with other mom's in a similar situation that are going thru pregancy and have fears as I do.
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Posted 4 February 2007
Karen, 45, Doha, Qatar
I wanted to connect to others mothers ttc like myself. I turned 45 on September 21 and have been trying to conceive after a miscarriage 6months ago where I conceived naturally with twins. Now I am headed down the IVF route and need to connect with other ladies over 40 who understand my quest. I also could add some inspiration to others since I had my son Brenton at 40.
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Posted 19 October 2007
Allison, 42, New Jersey, US
I just wanted to start getting connected as I recently went through a divorce and feel as though I have been robbed of my child bearing years. When we met he wanted children….then he didn't….the day he walked out he said he actually did want children just not with me…..enough of the sob story. Anyway after a year of soul searching and emotional regrouping I have decided I would like to get pregnant and have a child on my own.
I would prefer to get pregnant randomly by a male I am 'dating' but know that time is running out and that may not be the best way to go about this. I haven't any idea of the different options to a single woman. My concern is spending too much money that I would need to raise my child.
I would love to hear from moms who have gotten pregnant after 40 naturally without a permanent partner. I would also love to hear from moms who have gotten pregnant after 40 via other means and what their experiences were and what options I have available other than the 'good old fashioned' way.
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Posted 10 October 2007
Deborah, 46, S Australia
Hi, my name is Deborah and I am 46 years old. I just had my second child on August 1st. 2007, a little boy named Owen. I also have an older son, Jordan who is 12. I am from Canada and am currently residing in South Australia.
I would love to get in touch with other older parents and share experiences.
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Posted 6 October 2007
Julie, 40, Florida, US
I am almost 40 years old. I am a single mom of a 9-year old girl. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years; we do not live together… loooooonnnnggg story! At the beginning of the relationship he wanted to have a baby, but I didn't want to. I was scared of going through the same or very similar situation as the one I went through with my daughter's father (he is MIA). Now, after so many years… I want to have a baby. He has two sons; 21 & 34. He is 56 years old. I mentioned to him the desire of having a baby and he said no; too late. Then another day I mentioned it again, and he said no again, but smiled. It is like part of him wants to, and the other one does not. He says that he is too old to raise children. Help!!! I really, really want to have another baby.
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Posted 4 October 2007
Sheli, 39, Washington State, US
For 39 years, I was perfectly content being a "Dog Mom." Then my baby boy arrived and I had no idea I could love another human being so much. He's now nearly 8 months old and I want to try for a 2nd child when he's a year old (I'll be nearly 41 at that time). I have times when I get a little "depressed," reading the facts and figures of fertility and genetic problems, due to my age, but realize I have to have faith that if it's God's plan for me to have another child, it'll happen, right? My OB/GYN was very supportive, when I visited with her about trying for a 2nd child, so I felt good about that. Hubby is okay with one, okay with another. Sometimes I feel like I'm almost "obsessed" with having a 2nd baby... anyone else walking in similar shoes? Would love to hear from you. I get a little tired of everyone acting as though 40 is "old" and that we don't have the energy level needed for a baby and toddler. I feel like I'm in better shape now than I've ever been (aside from teenage years!) and have the patience and "life experience" to appreciate every moment of babyhood like I never would've years ago! Thank you!
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Posted 4 October 2007
Theresa, 42, Wisconsin, US
I am 42 years old and 13 weeks pregnant. I have an 18 year old daughter, 11 year old son, and a 2 year old. We also lost a baby at 17 weeks last April. We did chromosomal testing and found he was a perfectly normal boy, but we new from about 6 weeks that he was not growing at the right rate. We never found out why he died. Three months after he died I became pregnant again. (actually it was the first month we tried) I have been anxious every moment, but everything is going fine. I had morning sickness 24/7 with my previous 4 pregnancies and have none this time, which made me apprehensive until the ultra sound last week showed everything is going perfectly. I opted not to have an amnio or CVS with my son I had at 40, and I am opting not to this time also. I can't tell you how comforting your site has been to me. I have been quite surprised at some of the negativity I get for having children so late in life. Everyone of my children are a joy and a blessing, and I wouldn't trade any of this for the world.
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Posted 28 September 2007
Annette, 42, North Dakota, US
Hi!! I am 42 years old and recently got married. My husband has 3 children from his previous marriage. His kids are 19, 17, and 16. I have never had kids - a loooooooooooong story. I have always wanted to have kids and my husband knows that. We are seriously talking about trying to have a baby. A BIG part of me wants to try, but the other little parts wonder if it would be a good idea, esp. at our ages.(My husband is 46). He's all for it as he's the one that brought it up. I would like to hear from other moms over 40 that kinda have been in my shoes and what they have to say.